Early Morning High...want some? Where can I get some of that right there, you ask. What's she drinking this early in the morning? You know that ain't natural...child please!

WRONG! I'm on an ALL NATURAL...LOVIN' LIVIN'...WANT SOME...GET SOME...HIGH!

I woke up this morning (did you catch that)...early...around 4a...looked around to survey my environment...closed my eyes and THANKED GOD for life, health (even though I'm huffin' and puffin' with a touch of bronchitis this morning), mental stability...family, friends & the occasional "wolf in sheep's clothing" (cause it just wouldn't be any fun without 'em)...and, MOST IMPORTANTLY, HIS precious and undying love, grace & mercy (we are creatures...most miserable)...Lord thank you so much!

My communion with the Creator (don't miss the significance there)...was interrupted by an untimely alarm (forgot it was Saturday, but that's okay), I just sat still...for a while...basking in the glow that flows from my intimate relationship with the Father. Man, you gotta experience that HIGH...SOON! There is nothing like it!

Oh, don't get me wrong, I ain't perfect ...my life has it's trials and tribulations...I've been through all kinds of ups and downs...but, none of that devalues, or lessens my PRESENT STATE OF EUPHORIA!

Ya, I could use this forum to commiserate with the miserable , but why bother? And I know that some of you are probably thinking, "She should try living through half of what I've lived through!", or "She ain't really been through nothing!" . Well, think again! I've been tried by the FIYA ...and COME OUT...PURER...STRONGER...BETTER ! I don't do "one ups", or, "I can top that calamity"...it's pointless. What's important & personal to me...may not be to you...and vice versa.

I will SHARE (emphasis on "share"), however, that in my lifetime, I'VE LOST...RESPECT (mutual and self...thank God for the opportunities to earn them both back...and I have...every time)...a CLOSE FRIEND (or two...rest in peace, T & KC)...a HUSBAND (no, I'm not a widow in the "traditional" sense, but addiction is just as devastating as death)...a PARENT (I miss ya, Daddy...you left way too soon)...and a CHILD (Lord have mercy...there's not a day that goes by, Sweet Babygirl...my arms still ache from the emptiness you left in their cradle...but, I know you are well & doin' alright now), so I've had my share of LOSS!

Through it all, I've managed to SCRATCH and CLAW and DIG MY WAY OUT from under all the pain, suffering, shame, fear, anger (and a bunch more bad feelings that tag along with grief and loss)...and REJOICE IN GOD'S GREATNESS! The knowledge of...the belief, faith & trust in...the reliance on...the promises & assurances of...GOD...that is where my Early Morning HIGH originates!

Want some? Get some! TODAY! Then there will be "...no stoppin' us now"!

I love early mornings...and the peace...and quiet...and clarity that usually come with them! They are usually the best times for me to take time out and "blog out" with my friends on the Planet. Recently, a very good friend of mine offered a CHALLENGE! Man...oh man, HOW I LOVE A GOOD CHALLENGE! She wanted us both to write on the subject of "perception vs. reality". At first, I was a bit hesitant...didn't want to jump right in and be so far off base...so, I waited...and she wrote hers...I read it (and you should, too - http://www.myspace.com/alijoy25) and I was like, "Ahhhhhh, that's what she wants me to touch on!"

Well, here's my attempt at "breaking through barriers"..."clearing out clouds"...."shining light onto shadows"...and "actualizing the apparent". Let's take a closer look at "PERCEPTION vs. REALITY"!

Perception, as my good friend Webster's (who I keep close at all times) would say, is "a single unified awareness derived from sensory processes while a stimulus is present". Simply put, if I can "see it"..."hear it"..."taste it"..."touch it"..."smell it"...then it IS! But, what "IS"...it?! Is it true? Oftentimes, it is not!

As sure as it "exists", there's some way to "fabricate"..."duplicate"..."replicate"...make the appearance of one thing...another...but, that doesn't make it the REAL THING! Hmmm...let's see...stay with me for a few minutes more and I'll get you to where you need to be...I promise!

How we see ourselves...& all that has happened (or has not) in our lives...the people & places around us...the world we live in...all this goes into how we "see" ourselves...our "internal perception of self".

Now, this vantage point is rarely the one held by "outsiders". No, the "external perception of self" (outsider's viewpoint) is based on receipt of "sensory information" at any given point in time...and that makes the outsider's viewpoint real...right? WRONG!

So, what you're sayin' is only my internal perception is real...correct? WRONG AGAIN!

What I'm saying is PERCEPTION and REALITY are NOT ONE IN THE SAME! And even though our perceptions oftentimes carry kernels of truth, they are simply skewed slices of the so-called. Reality that has had a run-in with emotions...feelings...and is discolored, at best...that's what our perception really is! (all you English majors, I know that is NOT the correct tense, but dis MY BLOG...LOL!)

So, how do you see what I see...and how do we get to the point where what we are all seeing matters...and what matters is THE TRUTH...right? NOT NECESSARILY! Damn...there she goes again! Just when I thought I had this stuff all figured out, she goes and blows another huge hole in WHAT I SEE!

Listen, the truth is just that...real & actual. It cannot be anything other than truth. Whether we CHOOSE (and make no mistake about it, it is A CHOICE) to RECEIVE & BELIEVE...EMBRACE & BECOME...THE TRUTH...well, that's the "real" question on the table. And that goes for us, as we look inward at ourselves, or outward, at others. Everyone has his/her own school of thought...then, there's THE TRUTH!

Ren Descartes, a famous French philosopher, mathematician and scientist said, "I think, therefore I am"...and since he made that statement back in the 1600s, generations have embraced it! You can find it in textbooks, on billboards...even printed on your kids' t-shirts! The world has blindly followed this "incomplete perception" of mankind.

WOW! Did she just take a dig on dis famous cat, Descartes?! No dig, just sayin' he did't finish the statement...and for centuries, neither did we! We just ran with the unfinished business and embraced a skewed slice of the so-called...because it's comfortable..familiar...and popular...and makes for a good sound bite.

What Descartes should have said is, "I think...therefore I am...able to come to a conclusion of fact." Understand that REALITY IS...& it EXISTS INDEPENDENTLY OF ideas, opinions & feelings concerning it! How you feel doesn't change the fact that something or someone is what it is, or him/her are.

PERCEPTION: I can feel like you are a well-meaning person, placed in my life to help affect a positive change. REALITY: You are a two-bit hustler out to get what you can get...then move on to the next unsuspecting, and misguided perceiver!

So, now that you, my faithful Ebony friend, are here...at this point in my blog...what are you thinking? I could go on, but I think I will hold "Part 2" for your comments. Let me hear from you...do you see what I see...and does it really matter?!

I got to start this thang off wit a "Lord have mercy" followed by a "Thank you, Jesus"...wrappin' it up wit a "Ain't God SO GOOD!" If ya feel me...if ya know what I'm talkin' 'bout...even before I start to speak...SAY, "AMEN!"

My lil' Sista is GROWIN' UP, ya'll! She challenged me AGAIN! Can you believe da nerve of dat chick? LOL! I love you, SistaGirlFriend! So, what is the challenge this time, you ask. Well, she challenged US to blog out on the topic of "being single vs. being married", so to speak. Do check out her "I Am Enough" blog as soon as you get the opportunity (follow the link to: http://www.myspace.com/alijoy25).

Now, I'm not gonna tell ya'll which friend I am, in my girl's blog...you figure it out...it shouldn't be hard! Anyway, let's go...time to get busy wit' da business at hand: Self...Sufficient?

Hmm...HINDSIGHT IS 20/20! If I knew then, what I know now...you fill in the blank! But, I think a better rendition of that old cliche should be, "If I knew then, what I LEARNED & now know..." 'cause I'm hopeful we LEARNED some LESSONS along the road to graduating from the "School of HARD KNOCKS"! Lord knows I have picked up a few lessons (and bruises) along the way...can I get a witness?! I'm workin' on my doctoral dissertation now!

"Baby, I love you." "Baby, that hurts when you do...". "Baby, don't leave me again." "Baby, please don't say those things." "Baby, I saw you...". "Baby, just tell me you love me." "Baby, I will die without you." "Baby, I'm nothing without you." "Baby, I know this is really bad, but...". "Baby, I will do anything, if...". Do any of these statements sound even VAGUELY FAMILIAR?! Have you heard 'em before? Have you said 'em before? Come on now, it's just me and you right now...be honest...is this you...NOW?

Well, how 'bout I help you by puttin' it out there...IT WAS ME! And not just once...or, twice...but, more times than it shoulda been! I attached self-worth...self-respect...self love...self-esteem...SELF SUFFICIENCY...to the person I was with at the time...and NOT to who I shoulda attached all those things to: ME!

A HARD PILL (reality) to swallow...even for a veteran like me (battle wounds leave deep, slow-healing scars)! But, you know what, Sis...dat pill has been CRUSHED (courage)...MIXED WITH WATER (tears)...SWALLOWED (trust in God & self, & a spoonful of humility)...& NOW, I'M STARTIN' TO DIGEST (acknowledgement & acceptance) IT ALL! The medicine is finally starting to WORK (faith)!

I AM WOMAN...HEAR ME RRRROOOOAAAARRRR! AND I AM SELF...SUFFICIENT!

I know that God made us individuals for a reason! I know that I am MADE IN HIS OWN IMAGE: GOOD...WHOLE...SUFFICIENT! And now, it's my turn...my duty...my purpose to share the "good news" with EVERYONE WHO WILL HEAR IT!

YOU can be SELF SUFFICIENT, TOO!

Do you want to finally be at a place where you KNOW THAT YOU ARE ENOUGH without being bound to another human being? SEEK to KNOW GOD...UNDERSTAND His word & His will FOR YOU! His grace...IS SUFFICIENT...and SO ARE YOU!

And know that I am not downing marriage...no way! But KNOW GOD, then KNOW SELF...and the "mate" will follow...and you can truly exist with another...as ONE...because YOU LEARNED THE MOST IMPORTANT LESSON!

SOUND OFF, my Friends on Ebony Date! Let a sista know what ya think...and if ya feelin' any part of what was shared in this blog...PASS IT ON!

Peace...love...understanding...& joy to you!

Languid, my body motionless...eyes swollen...a crimson glow. My spirit, limp from the incessant pummeling...the ongoing assault! My limbs shake...my heart breaks...how much more anguish can I take...

Cerebrally, I hemorrhage...contact with reality impaired...my soul ensnared. Madness creeps in...and I lay awake...wondering where you are...today...

Perpetually agitated, I toss and turn...my body aches...Lord God help me, it burns! Craving for the one thing I cannot have...so, I close my eyes, in hopes that subliminally, he appears. But, nothing...no one...just tears...

Suffocating, my lungs refuse to hold air...coughing...choking...drowning! My God, have mercy...remove this cold...bitter...cup! Stop this unwieldy pain...I'm slippin'...I'm fallin'...I'm missin'...YOU!

"I love you" flows freely...gettin' a push from the diaphragm...the larnyx and vocal cords squeeeeeeeeeeeze out the syllables...that roll effortlessly off of...your cold...critical...careless..."loose lips"...

"I love you" phrase offenders...how come your words...although lofty by design...breakdown after manufacturing...could it be your defective delivery...faulty filtering...cortical crossfire...or, is it just a meaningless misfit...

Rewind.

"I love you" marinates in my memory...winding around curves...sailing over synapses...shooting from deep within the recesses of my mind...thru the filter of my left, then my right...ventricle...

Oh, yes..."I love you" is now on it's proper course...surging through sound barriers...as it makes it's long awaited...anxiously anticipated...exit from my beautiful...inviting...warm...waiting..."loose lips"!

Even Though I'm Not Your Man, You Not My Girl
I'm a Call You My Shawty
Cause I Can't Stand To See You Treated Bad
I Beat His Ass For My Shawty
And We Ain't Did Nothin That We Ain't Supposed To Do
Cause You My Shawty
Babygirl You Know I Be Home, Keep Me On The Ringtone Shawty

Who is there for the strong?

When she faces her fears,

And realizes she cries without tears?


Who is there for the strong?

When her world is collapsing?

Who is there to help her from relapsing?


Who is there for the strong?

When she screams and shouts and on one hears,

Cause no sound comes forth and she realizes she cries without tears?


Who is there for the strong?

When her knees are weak?

When her back and shoulders fall in defeat?

When she screams and shouts and no one hears,

When she realizes she cries without tears?


Who is there for the strong?

When she's moaning in pain?

Crying in vain, for an ease to her strain?


Who is there when she

Soundlessly screams

Tearlessly cries

Hugging her self to sleep at night?

Pain ..........

Searing .............

Tearing ............

Crying .............

Dying .................

My heart aches for your caress

Your sweet tenderness

The whisper of my name from your soft lips

The look in your eyes as we have our first kiss

Loneliness has killed my soul,

Can you make it whole?

Can u make me believe in love again?

Or will you suck the life out of me?

Drain out the last of my dignity?

Make me look and feel like a fool once again

For believing that anyone could ever love me?

Not my body or my face

Can you fill this empty space?

Can you not hear the sadness in my laugh or the hurt in my speech?

Are you too deaf to hear me crying in my sleep?

Why?

Why do I feel so alone,
Even though I know you are home?
Why do I feel the need to greive,
When your love is what I want to beleive?
My heart tears at my very soul,
Why can`t I feel that you make me whole?
When you give me no reason for defeat,
Why do I still feel you`re a cheat?
I want so bad to believe in you,
How can I tell if you`ve been true?
That`s the reason why I`ve been so blue.


written by: ladiedragon

You hold me close and whisper my name,
Are you seeking my love or is it just a game?
For if it is a game that you seek,
Don`t think I`ll just sit by and be meek.
I know the game, I know the rules,
Don`t think that all girls are fools.
But if it is my love you care to achieve,
Whisper my name and make me believe.


wriiten by: ladiedragon

I dont have that much to say really, just a general public service announcement.....Black Women, please start giving more head..it doesn't make you a hoe if you are doing it to your man.....and not every man.

Early Morning High...want some? Where can I get some of that right there, you ask. What's she drinking this early in the morning? You know that ain't natural...child please!

WRONG! I'm on an ALL NATURAL...LOVIN' LIVIN'...WANT SOME...GET SOME...HIGH!

I woke up this morning (did you catch that)...early...around 4a...looked around to survey my environment...closed my eyes and THANKED GOD for life, health (even though I'm huffin' and puffin' with a touch of bronchitis this morning), mental stability...family, friends & the occasional "wolf in sheep's clothing" (cause it just wouldn't be any fun without 'em)...and, MOST IMPORTANTLY, HIS precious and undying love, grace & mercy (we are creatures...most miserable)...Lord thank you so much!

My communion with the Creator (don't miss the significance there)...was interrupted by an untimely alarm (forgot it was Saturday, but that's okay), I just sat still...for a while...basking in the glow that flows from my intimate relationship with the Father. Man, you gotta experience that HIGH...SOON! There is nothing like it!

Oh, don't get me wrong, I ain't perfect ...my life has it's trials and tribulations...I've been through all kinds of ups and downs...but, none of that devalues, or lessens my PRESENT STATE OF EUPHORIA!

Ya, I could use this forum to commiserate with the miserable , but why bother? And I know that some of you are probably thinking, "She should try living through half of what I've lived through!", or "She ain't really been through nothing!" . Well, think again! I've been tried by the FIYA ...and COME OUT...PURER...STRONGER...BETTER ! I don't do "one ups", or, "I can top that calamity"...it's pointless. What's important & personal to me...may not be to you...and vice versa.

I will SHARE (emphasis on "share"), however, that in my lifetime, I'VE LOST...RESPECT (mutual and self...thank God for the opportunities to earn them both back...and I have...every time)...a CLOSE FRIEND (or two...rest in peace, T & KC)...a HUSBAND (no, I'm not a widow in the "traditional" sense, but addiction is just as devastating as death)...a PARENT (I miss ya, Daddy...you left way too soon)...and a CHILD (Lord have mercy...there's not a day that goes by, Sweet Babygirl...my arms still ache from the emptiness you left in their cradle...but, I know you are well & doin' alright now), so I've had my share of LOSS!

Through it all, I've managed to SCRATCH and CLAW and DIG MY WAY OUT from under all the pain, suffering, shame, fear, anger (and a bunch more bad feelings that tag along with grief and loss)...and REJOICE IN GOD'S GREATNESS! The knowledge of...the belief, faith & trust in...the reliance on...the promises & assurances of...GOD...that is where my Early Morning HIGH originates!

Want some? Get some! TODAY! Then there will be "...no stoppin' us now"!

I love early mornings...and the peace...and quiet...and clarity that usually come with them! They are usually the best times for me to take time out and "blog out" with my friends on the Planet. Recently, a very good friend of mine offered a CHALLENGE! Man...oh man, HOW I LOVE A GOOD CHALLENGE! She wanted us both to write on the subject of "perception vs. reality". At first, I was a bit hesitant...didn't want to jump right in and be so far off base...so, I waited...and she wrote hers...I read it (and you should, too - http://www.myspace.com/alijoy25) and I was like, "Ahhhhhh, that's what she wants me to touch on!"

Well, here's my attempt at "breaking through barriers"..."clearing out clouds"...."shining light onto shadows"...and "actualizing the apparent". Let's take a closer look at "PERCEPTION vs. REALITY"!

Perception, as my good friend Webster's (who I keep close at all times) would say, is "a single unified awareness derived from sensory processes while a stimulus is present". Simply put, if I can "see it"..."hear it"..."taste it"..."touch it"..."smell it"...then it IS! But, what "IS"...it?! Is it true? Oftentimes, it is not!

As sure as it "exists", there's some way to "fabricate"..."duplicate"..."replicate"...make the appearance of one thing...another...but, that doesn't make it the REAL THING! Hmmm...let's see...stay with me for a few minutes more and I'll get you to where you need to be...I promise!

How we see ourselves...& all that has happened (or has not) in our lives...the people & places around us...the world we live in...all this goes into how we "see" ourselves...our "internal perception of self".

Now, this vantage point is rarely the one held by "outsiders". No, the "external perception of self" (outsider's viewpoint) is based on receipt of "sensory information" at any given point in time...and that makes the outsider's viewpoint real...right? WRONG!

So, what you're sayin' is only my internal perception is real...correct? WRONG AGAIN!

What I'm saying is PERCEPTION and REALITY are NOT ONE IN THE SAME! And even though our perceptions oftentimes carry kernels of truth, they are simply skewed slices of the so-called. Reality that has had a run-in with emotions...feelings...and is discolored, at best...that's what our perception really is! (all you English majors, I know that is NOT the correct tense, but dis MY BLOG...LOL!)

So, how do you see what I see...and how do we get to the point where what we are all seeing matters...and what matters is THE TRUTH...right? NOT NECESSARILY! Damn...there she goes again! Just when I thought I had this stuff all figured out, she goes and blows another huge hole in WHAT I SEE!

Listen, the truth is just that...real & actual. It cannot be anything other than truth. Whether we CHOOSE (and make no mistake about it, it is A CHOICE) to RECEIVE & BELIEVE...EMBRACE & BECOME...THE TRUTH...well, that's the "real" question on the table. And that goes for us, as we look inward at ourselves, or outward, at others. Everyone has his/her own school of thought...then, there's THE TRUTH!

Ren Descartes, a famous French philosopher, mathematician and scientist said, "I think, therefore I am"...and since he made that statement back in the 1600s, generations have embraced it! You can find it in textbooks, on billboards...even printed on your kids' t-shirts! The world has blindly followed this "incomplete perception" of mankind.

WOW! Did she just take a dig on dis famous cat, Descartes?! No dig, just sayin' he did't finish the statement...and for centuries, neither did we! We just ran with the unfinished business and embraced a skewed slice of the so-called...because it's comfortable..familiar...and popular...and makes for a good sound bite.

What Descartes should have said is, "I think...therefore I am...able to come to a conclusion of fact." Understand that REALITY IS...& it EXISTS INDEPENDENTLY OF ideas, opinions & feelings concerning it! How you feel doesn't change the fact that something or someone is what it is, or him/her are.

PERCEPTION: I can feel like you are a well-meaning person, placed in my life to help affect a positive change. REALITY: You are a two-bit hustler out to get what you can get...then move on to the next unsuspecting, and misguided perceiver!

So, now that you, my faithful Ebony friend, are here...at this point in my blog...what are you thinking? I could go on, but I think I will hold "Part 2" for your comments. Let me hear from you...do you see what I see...and does it really matter?!

I got to start this thang off wit a "Lord have mercy" followed by a "Thank you, Jesus"...wrappin' it up wit a "Ain't God SO GOOD!" If ya feel me...if ya know what I'm talkin' 'bout...even before I start to speak...SAY, "AMEN!"

My lil' Sista is GROWIN' UP, ya'll! She challenged me AGAIN! Can you believe da nerve of dat chick? LOL! I love you, SistaGirlFriend! So, what is the challenge this time, you ask. Well, she challenged US to blog out on the topic of "being single vs. being married", so to speak. Do check out her "I Am Enough" blog as soon as you get the opportunity (follow the link to: http://www.myspace.com/alijoy25).

Now, I'm not gonna tell ya'll which friend I am, in my girl's blog...you figure it out...it shouldn't be hard! Anyway, let's go...time to get busy wit' da business at hand: Self...Sufficient?

Hmm...HINDSIGHT IS 20/20! If I knew then, what I know now...you fill in the blank! But, I think a better rendition of that old cliche should be, "If I knew then, what I LEARNED & now know..." 'cause I'm hopeful we LEARNED some LESSONS along the road to graduating from the "School of HARD KNOCKS"! Lord knows I have picked up a few lessons (and bruises) along the way...can I get a witness?! I'm workin' on my doctoral dissertation now!

"Baby, I love you." "Baby, that hurts when you do...". "Baby, don't leave me again." "Baby, please don't say those things." "Baby, I saw you...". "Baby, just tell me you love me." "Baby, I will die without you." "Baby, I'm nothing without you." "Baby, I know this is really bad, but...". "Baby, I will do anything, if...". Do any of these statements sound even VAGUELY FAMILIAR?! Have you heard 'em before? Have you said 'em before? Come on now, it's just me and you right now...be honest...is this you...NOW?

Well, how 'bout I help you by puttin' it out there...IT WAS ME! And not just once...or, twice...but, more times than it shoulda been! I attached self-worth...self-respect...self love...self-esteem...SELF SUFFICIENCY...to the person I was with at the time...and NOT to who I shoulda attached all those things to: ME!

A HARD PILL (reality) to swallow...even for a veteran like me (battle wounds leave deep, slow-healing scars)! But, you know what, Sis...dat pill has been CRUSHED (courage)...MIXED WITH WATER (tears)...SWALLOWED (trust in God & self, & a spoonful of humility)...& NOW, I'M STARTIN' TO DIGEST (acknowledgement & acceptance) IT ALL! The medicine is finally starting to WORK (faith)!

I AM WOMAN...HEAR ME RRRROOOOAAAARRRR! AND I AM SELF...SUFFICIENT!

I know that God made us individuals for a reason! I know that I am MADE IN HIS OWN IMAGE: GOOD...WHOLE...SUFFICIENT! And now, it's my turn...my duty...my purpose to share the "good news" with EVERYONE WHO WILL HEAR IT!

YOU can be SELF SUFFICIENT, TOO!

Do you want to finally be at a place where you KNOW THAT YOU ARE ENOUGH without being bound to another human being? SEEK to KNOW GOD...UNDERSTAND His word & His will FOR YOU! His grace...IS SUFFICIENT...and SO ARE YOU!

And know that I am not downing marriage...no way! But KNOW GOD, then KNOW SELF...and the "mate" will follow...and you can truly exist with another...as ONE...because YOU LEARNED THE MOST IMPORTANT LESSON!

SOUND OFF, my Friends on Ebony Date! Let a sista know what ya think...and if ya feelin' any part of what was shared in this blog...PASS IT ON!

Peace...love...understanding...& joy to you!

Languid, my body motionless...eyes swollen...a crimson glow. My spirit, limp from the incessant pummeling...the ongoing assault! My limbs shake...my heart breaks...how much more anguish can I take...

Cerebrally, I hemorrhage...contact with reality impaired...my soul ensnared. Madness creeps in...and I lay awake...wondering where you are...today...

Perpetually agitated, I toss and turn...my body aches...Lord God help me, it burns! Craving for the one thing I cannot have...so, I close my eyes, in hopes that subliminally, he appears. But, nothing...no one...just tears...

Suffocating, my lungs refuse to hold air...coughing...choking...drowning! My God, have mercy...remove this cold...bitter...cup! Stop this unwieldy pain...I'm slippin'...I'm fallin'...I'm missin'...YOU!

"I love you" flows freely...gettin' a push from the diaphragm...the larnyx and vocal cords squeeeeeeeeeeeze out the syllables...that roll effortlessly off of...your cold...critical...careless..."loose lips"...

"I love you" phrase offenders...how come your words...although lofty by design...breakdown after manufacturing...could it be your defective delivery...faulty filtering...cortical crossfire...or, is it just a meaningless misfit...

Rewind.

"I love you" marinates in my memory...winding around curves...sailing over synapses...shooting from deep within the recesses of my mind...thru the filter of my left, then my right...ventricle...

Oh, yes..."I love you" is now on it's proper course...surging through sound barriers...as it makes it's long awaited...anxiously anticipated...exit from my beautiful...inviting...warm...waiting..."loose lips"!

Even Though I'm Not Your Man, You Not My Girl
I'm a Call You My Shawty
Cause I Can't Stand To See You Treated Bad
I Beat His Ass For My Shawty
And We Ain't Did Nothin That We Ain't Supposed To Do
Cause You My Shawty
Babygirl You Know I Be Home, Keep Me On The Ringtone Shawty

Who is there for the strong?

When she faces her fears,

And realizes she cries without tears?


Who is there for the strong?

When her world is collapsing?

Who is there to help her from relapsing?


Who is there for the strong?

When she screams and shouts and on one hears,

Cause no sound comes forth and she realizes she cries without tears?


Who is there for the strong?

When her knees are weak?

When her back and shoulders fall in defeat?

When she screams and shouts and no one hears,

When she realizes she cries without tears?


Who is there for the strong?

When she's moaning in pain?

Crying in vain, for an ease to her strain?


Who is there when she

Soundlessly screams

Tearlessly cries

Hugging her self to sleep at night?

Pain ..........

Searing .............

Tearing ............

Crying .............

Dying .................

My heart aches for your caress

Your sweet tenderness

The whisper of my name from your soft lips

The look in your eyes as we have our first kiss

Loneliness has killed my soul,

Can you make it whole?

Can u make me believe in love again?

Or will you suck the life out of me?

Drain out the last of my dignity?

Make me look and feel like a fool once again

For believing that anyone could ever love me?

Not my body or my face

Can you fill this empty space?

Can you not hear the sadness in my laugh or the hurt in my speech?

Are you too deaf to hear me crying in my sleep?

Why?

Why do I feel so alone,
Even though I know you are home?
Why do I feel the need to greive,
When your love is what I want to beleive?
My heart tears at my very soul,
Why can`t I feel that you make me whole?
When you give me no reason for defeat,
Why do I still feel you`re a cheat?
I want so bad to believe in you,
How can I tell if you`ve been true?
That`s the reason why I`ve been so blue.


written by: ladiedragon